Is it not wonderful?

A sequel to "What gives you the right?"

I am proud of you. Of the choice you made.

You shouldn't be.

Why not? You persisted against the struggles of mortal life. Is that not a thing you should be praised for?

Probably. But I didn't do it for me, nor you. Or maybe it was because of you. Maybe it was because I couldn't bear the thought of my parents crying over my grave. Perhaps I couldn't stand the fact that my friends and potential future would be thrown away because of my selfish loathing. Or maybe it wasn't because of any of it.

But I do know.

I do know I did it for her.

For who?

For her. For she who wouldn't understand what had happened. For the creature who only wants love and for me to feed her the dry crumpets from the pantry.

I couldn't stand the thought of her not knowing were I went. Of her not seeing me open that door again. For her to not lay in bed with me scratching her head against my palm asking to be pet.

She wouldn't understand. She would think I left her. I would have left her. I would have left her all alone in that house that once held the two of us, and now she only sits in my cold bed waiting for me to come back.

I was afraid she might think it would be her fault.

Is that not wonderful?

Wonderful? How is that in anyway wonderful?

Is it not wonderful that a creature, an animal, that in every single aspect is below you humans could cause such an impact?

Is it not wonderful that this one animal stopped you from destroying every thing that you stood for? Is it not wonderful that this pet stopped you from destroying every trace that you existed?

Is it not wonderful that such a creature is now the reason you can make a perfect future for yourself?

But should I not care more for the people around me? Is it not morally correct to think of the people who cared for me in such times?

But you did, didn't you?

Yes, yes I did.

Did you not think of your mother and father screaming over your empty grave as you stood on that chair?

Yes.

Did you imagine your friends mourning you? Even if they did for just a second?

Yes.

But you knew that those people would forget in the end. They would move on. Maybe not completely but as everyone else you are but stardust and a soul. And eventually you would return to the stars.

...

But you knew that she wouldn't understand.

Yes.

You would be right. She would simply know that you left that day like always but never came back. But she could never know why. Perhaps she thought you abandoned her. Or maybe that you were just a good dream.

Your right.

And how do you feel now? Knowing you can return to her. To reassure her you will be there as long as she needs you.

I feel... I feel like I have to finish my part of the meal.

Ha Ha Ha! well now isn't that wonderful!

I suppose it is wonderful.

Now, our time is done. Leave. Speak to your parents, socialize with the ones who see you for you.

I will. I will remember how I saw it all on that chair. In that moment. Thank you.

Also, before I leave. There was one more I thought of.

Oh? Who?

I thought of you. I thought of how disappointed you would be. Yet I felt sad that you will have to stay alone once more if I didn't step off that edge. But I suppose we will meet one day in the future.

...

Until then, my dearest foe. I promise to live a wonderful life.